To My Girls

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart and your 
neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

To My Daughters, who I miscarried early in pregnancy: I miss you and I love you! I wish you were here. But I know you are in Heaven. I will see you someday. 

To My Girls - my future daughters, adopted daughters, nieces, friends' daughters, sisters, moms, aunts, friends, little girls, young ladies, women, and You: I am proud of you and I love you! I wish you knew how much you mean to me. Believe in yourself and the GOD who made you. I will be here for you always. 

My heart wants you to know: 

1. You are more than enough. No, you are not just "enough". You are more. Psalm 139 says you are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Wow. You are amazing. 

 2. GOD is more than enough. No, GOD is not just "there." HE is HERE. Ephesians 3 says, GOD can "do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think." Wow. HE is YOUR GOD. 

3. We are more than enough. No, we are not alone. We are together. Galations 6 says, "Bear one another's burdens." Wow. We are sisters in CHRIST.

My heart wants you to know the HEART of JESUS.

Girls, you are daughters of the KING. You are Princesses. Queens. Warriors. Heroes. Leaders.

Girls, you are beautiful. You have a soul like no one else. Personality. Kindness. Pretty eyes. Gorgeous smile.

Please enjoy life. It is a gift. Treasure your people and your pets. Laugh, cry, learn, grow. Live in HIS LOVE.

Please remember I am here for you. As a friend, sister, prayer partner, coffee mate, lunch buddy, mom, mentor, counselor, and listener. Message me any time. I am thankful for you, Girl. 

Yours forever,

Missionaries to women,

Amy, AnnaClaar, Christina, Rosalyn, Victoria, and Claaralise Annette

When It Feels Like GOD Has Betrayed You

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE 
GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

When you accept CHRIST as your SAVIOR. When you try to follow the Bible. When you live your life for others. 

It is when you beg and loved ones die anyway.  It is when GOD sometimes seems mad and distant. It is when other CHRISTians turn their backs on you. 

Feels like a spoon stabs you in the heart.  Feels worse than a knife because you did not expect it. Feels like your faith is taken away in one fell scoop

Like a shock. Like you are dying. Like you are numb.

"GOD, MY GOD. Why have YOU forsaken ME?" GOD'S SON JESUS said this in Matthew 27, verses 1 through 66. GOD, on the cross. 

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever known lasting loneliness? Have you ever been totally terrified? 

Betrayed by a trusted adult. Betrayed by a spouse. Betrayed by a friend.

You are not alone. You are not what you feel. You are loved, safe, and cared about.

 If you think it is over, remember this is not the end. If you can, keep praying and reading the New Testament.  If you need help, ask a kind pastor's wife or counselor.

I understand. I have been there. I am still here.

Please message, email, text, or call 719-571-0457 if you want to talk or pray. Please call 1-800-273-8255 if you are thinking about suicide. Please know I am praying for you and I love you.

There is still joy in this world.  There has to be a GOOD GOD. There are many people who do care. 

Maybe you have just been cut with the sharp edge of a spoon. Maybe you are like a toddler, screaming in pain. Maybe JESUS is a perfect FATHER, holding you close to HIS HEART.  

Missionaries to the sick, because I am healing, too.

Your friend and sister, Amy and daughters.

I Am A Girl Mom

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet 

I have not told many people this. It hurts too much. In July of 2014,I miscarried a beautiful baby girl. It was early in the pregnancy. We named her AnnaClaar Jane. 

 And January of 2015,the same thing happened. A daughter. Also at the beginning of being pregnant. Her name is Christina Amyleah.

 As hard as is it to admit, Victoria Angeleia and Rosalyn Mercy went to Heaven,August 2016 and April 2017. Always in my heart. And on my mind.

   Girls are a part of me. Girly is my DNA. GOD gave me daughters and sons. Gladly,I raise my beautiful boys to love,honor,and respect women.

Maybe I will miss my gorgeous girls forever. Miss the chance to grow up with daughters. Miss the mini me. Miss seeing what they act and look like. Miss having a best friend.

But I will keep trying to be a calm,caring,kind,kooky mama,most of the time. I am not a tom boy mommy. Dresses,skirts,elegant hair styles,boots,yoga pants,and pink are my jam. However,I do enjoy hugs,tickles,kisses,cuddles,

reading,swinging,and slides. And I will bring up each of my sons'sweet,stubborn,silly,strong personalities.    

Have you had a darling daughter,special son,or blessed baby pass away? We feel your pain. Or are you not able to have a child? I am so sorry. Did adoption or foster care fall through,like it did for us? 

Please feel free to tell me your story,so I can pray for you. You can email,message,call,or text 719-571-0457,if you ever need to talk. I am also here for single mothers,your miracle 

babies,and little 

children in other countries. Please be praying for me as I grieve for my girls. We all need each other. 

Love,Amy,Annie,Christie,Torrie,and Rosie Torrans

Missionaries to the broken hearted.

Because my spirit is broken,too.      

The Listener

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart,

and your neighbor as yourself."

 "You need to start a mom's group as soon as possible, so you have more support!" The counselor's confident voice shocked me.  I had just been in the PICU and the Children's Hospital for three weeks.  My beautiful baby boy almost passed away.  How could I "do" more at a time like this?

You know, I appreciate where the perky therapist was coming from. The intention was "get up and go." But I had already gotten up and gone somewhere inside my head. My heart was broken. How could I take care of a seven month old who could die at any moment?

You understand. The ache of my soul was for someone to listen. I needed to find words, speak, cry, and try to explain the despair I felt. My spirit shouted and whispered to be heard.  How could I just nod, smile, blink, and pretend I had energy to do everything the nice lady demanded?

"You can tell me anything." The kind voice of my friend made me relax. I shared my fears, my failures, my wishes, and my weeping.  My sister in CHRIST responded in sympathy and empathy.  How freeing it felt to be myself.

You, dear reader, are special. The pain, purpose, suffering, and silence you experience matter. I want you to know, I care. My "door is always open" to welcome you. How can I listen to you, right now?

You may call or text me at 719-571-0457. The comment section below is also for prayer requests. I can be reached by email whatislovemissions@gmail.com and by messages. My ears will hear, and my heart will see. How I shall pray for GOD to help you.

You can also talk to JESUS, Beloved. The desperation you know, HE knows, too. "I do not think HE loves me", you might say. My emotions falsely go there sometimes, also. But oh, how HE truly longs to listen.

Missionaries to the scared, sad, and scarred, Joey, Amy, Mikey, Jonny, and A.J.

Because we are, too.

If you need me, I will be a Listener.

I Need A Superhero

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

    and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

I am a mess. Man, I need chocolate. And a person to make everything better. Someone super.

In January, my life changed forever. Our little man, age six months, had a fever of 105°.  And he was rushed to the ICU. So after two weeks, he was transported to the Children's Hospital.

I am told he has Chronic Granulomatous Disease, a rare, life threatening disease. Oh, man. And tumors in his liver, kidneys, and head. Super sad.

Do you ever feel like your life is messy? Grab some chocolate ice cream. Let me be a person who helps a little. Say these things to yourself when you are super stressed:

1. I Have A Superhero Friend

One or more people to step into your mess. Meet your needs. Make a few things better. I am super thankful for my friends and family.

2. I Am A Superhero

Your mess will someday be your message. You need to know that you are amazing. You're a stronger person than you think. You are someone I would like to know.

3.  I Have A Superhero GOD

HE cleans up messes. HIS SON JESUS became a man and died for you. HE will make everything better, one day. In HIS arms, I know that SOMEONE loves me.

Please feel free to share your super problems. I believe in super prayer.

Children's Coloring Contest

wHat is lovE mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

Hey Boys and Girls!  This is a contest where you can win a prize. Here is all you have to do:

1.  Ask your parents to help you print or copy the following picture.

2.  Color with crayons, pencils, markers, or digitally on a computer or phone.

3.  You can also include a Bible verse  about children, helping people, or being happy, if you want. 

4. Please send it to whatislovemissions@gmail.com

5.  Have fun :) If you have any other questions, you can email, call, or text What Is Love Missions at 719-571-0457.

When We Want

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart,

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

"I love you, Mommy." She has blond hair like honey. Blue eyes like a butterfly.  And a smile like a porcelain doll. In my dreams, she gives me a hug. 

But now I am awake. I remember finding out I am pregnant. Being sure it is a girl. But at three months, the contractions come.  And the bleeding.

I miscarry one baby.  But I am thankful that the second fraternal twin lives. Our son is a beautiful blessing. I never feel like I want a girl instead. I just wish my daughter could be in my arms, too. 

Wishing, wanting, and praying are good things. They make us depend on GOD.  Because we are desperate.  Because we need HIM. Because the ache will not go away.

This is what happens when we want:

 1.  We Care

Oh, how we care for the people in our lives. Our husband, our children, our parents, our family, our friends. We love them. We do not want them to leave. But sometimes they have to.

2.  We Cry

When they are gone from our worlds, we grieve. We feel we can not go on. It is almost as if we never had them. But it is both hurtful and healing, because we did. Or did we, we ask ourselves.    

  3.  We Can 

But we can keep wanting and living at the same time. The desire might never go away. Our FATHER can give us another spouse, child, or friend. Though they will never replace the one we lost. Or HE can help us know that we can make it. 

I still wish for another daughter someday. GOD might give me a girl. Or HE may give me an adopted daughter, a daughter-in-law, or a  granddaughter. We might not get our prayers answered when we want. But it may be when we need.

Please share your prayer requests. And I will pray the LORD gives you the desires of your heart.

Love, Joey, Amy, Mikey, Jonny, A.J., and Annie Torrans

Missionaries to people who need prayer.

We all do.

While We Weep

wHat is lovE mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

When I was three months pregnant, I had contractions, cramping, and bleeding.  I thought I had miscarried my baby.  But there was still one heartbeat.

When I had an early ultrasound, it looked like we were expecting a girl.  I thought I was having my daughter.  But when I gave birth, my husband said with surprise, "It is a boy!"

When my sweet son was placed on my chest right away, I was relieved he was here. I thought he was beautiful.  But I felt like I had lost his twin sister.

When our little man was a day old, he had a seizure, shaking, fast breathing, slow heart rate, and low oxygen. I had to go where he was to nurse him. But the specialists did not know what was wrong. 

When I see a pink dress, my eyes fill with tears as I miss the angel girl I was sure I was having. I cry when I worry about the angel boy I have.  But he is still getting tests and treatments.

When we weep, we grieve.  We mourn for someone who has died or might die. But GOD is still here, while we are weeping.


While We Weep, GOD Cares

When we feel alone, we feel GOD had left us.  We think HE is far away.  But HE is close, and HE is holding us.

While We Weep, GOD Cries

When we feel sad, we feel GOD is over there with all the happy people.  We bury ourselves in our pain.  But GOD hurts when we hurt, because HE loves us and those we love.

While We Weep, GOD Calls

When we feel empty, we feel numb.  We think our dreams are doomed and our wishes are wilted.  But GOD is whispering to our hearts, "I have a reason." 

When my wonderful son cries, I carry him and kiss him.  The doctors said his symptoms improve when he is with his mama who adores him.  But I still feel scared as I monitor his breaths. 

When you think you can not go on, we are praying for you.  You are loved, valued, and cared about.  Please let us know how we can help, while you go through a season of weeping.

Love, Joseph, Amy, Michael, Jonathan, AnnaClaar Jane, and Aaron Joseph Torrans

Missionaries to the hurting

Because all of us are broken 

whatislovemissions@gmail.com 

Why GOD Answers Prayer

wHat is lovE mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself." 

The Torrans Tablet

"Please help us have a healthy baby girl." I pray this every day. Why does GOD seem to answer prayer sometimes?  And why does HE seem silent at others?  I do not know.  

But things are not always as they seem.  I have to believe GOD hears us.  My life depends on it.  Here are three reasons I think GOD does answer prayer.

1.  GOD Loves HIS SON JESUS.

The Bible says to pray in JESUS' NAME.  It is because HE is GOD'S CHILD. When we as parents hear our son's or daughter's name, we listen closely.  When we as CHRISTians ask with the power of CHRIST,  GOD leans in. 

2.  GOD Loves Us.

That old song JESUS Loves Me might sound too simple as adults.  But kids know.  Our whole world is based on the fact that CHRIST died and rose again because HE cares for us so deeply. I want to have faith in these scary times that the LOVE of JESUS is stronger. 

3.  GOD Loves Those We Love 

I adore my husband, my beautiful baby boys, my sweet unborn daughter, my parents, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my extended family, my friends, and people I know.  So much it hurts.  So much I hurt when they hurt.  GOD loves our loved ones even more than we do.

Sometimes I worry that our little angel girl might not be healthy.  That something bad could happen to someone.  That horrible experiences are happening right now.  Because they are.  I can not understand why.  

But I pray.  I beg GOD to help in JESUS' NAME because HE loves us and HE loves others.  HIS HEART hurts with ours. So please keep sending your prayer requests to whatislovemissions@gmail.com. We will keep praying and GOD will keep answering :) 

Love, Joseph, Amy, Michael, Jonathan, and Baby AnnaClaar Jane Torrans

Prayer Warriors For The World

How To Have Hope

wHat is lovE mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet 

"I'm sorry, I can not find a heartbeat."

Two different doctors look at me sadly after trying to find our pre-born Baby's heart beat with a doppler. I am four months pregnant.  It seems like our tiny angel has died. The office will schedule an ultrasound. I will have to give birth to a still born Baby.

Here Is Some Hope From GOD

Has your hope ever died?  Being without hope is like being without a heart beat.  You feel like you have stopped breathing, eating, drinking, and living. But here, GOD is still there.  It does not seem like it, I know; HE knows that, too. 

   From the time I was four years old, I prayed that JESUS would give me a Baby Girl someday. When my husband and I were engaged, we wanted to have healthy girls and boys after we were married.  We were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.  After learning our second child was also a sweet son, we asked GOD to please give us a daughter the next time we were expecting. I thought this was the Little Girl I dreamed of. 

Here Is Some Hope From Me

The technician tries to find a beating heart. Suddenly she says, "It is low, but it is thumping!" The Baby is not moving much, but the tech is able to measure a tiny human.  We are so grateful our Darling is alive, but I have contractions, high blood pressure, and have to be on pelvic rest and bed rest. Our prayer is that our Baby will come normally after at least thirty five weeks, but we are unsure.

Let me give you some hope.  I am scared, sad, stressed, and silent.  I am also hiding, holding on, hugging, and hearing. They go together, Dear One.  Despair and Desire. 

Here Is Some Hope From You

You might feel there is no hope in you; I do.  I feel worthless, wimpy, and weak.  But we are on earth for a reason.  The CREATOR made you, saved you, and loved you.  Your soul can have a relationship with HIS. 

How can we have hope?  There is some hope to be had in HIM, in my story, and in your life.  You can also help others hope again.  The hope of HEAVEN, your journey, and their fragile faith.

Here's to hoping.

Love, Amy, Joey, Mikey, Jonny, and Baby Torrans 

Missionaries to the Hopeless, Homeless, and Helpless

For that is what we are 

Without HIM 

This CHRISTmas - Remember The Sick

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart,
 and your neighbor as yourself." 

The Torrans Tablet

"Your son has to go to The Children's Hospital."  Words no parent ever wants to hear.  But we were lucky. Our seven month old was able to go to The Children's Hospital in Colorado Springs.  We did not even have to drive up to Denver.

Some daddies and mommies are not so lucky.  Their adorable angel has to have surgery.  They have to stay in a hospital many towns away.

Our beautiful baby boy had to have tests, evaluations, and physical therapy a couple of times a week.  But he is lucky. His developmental delays and weight gain have improved. He no longer has to go to the hospital.  Some children are not so lucky.

 "We need to test his white blood cell count for leukemia."  Our little Michael was very ill, but he did not have cancer.  Other families would say we are more than lucky. We are blessed.  I agree.

This CHRISTmas - remember the sick.  Remember the sad.  Remember the suffering.  Remember the hopeless, the  hurting, the homeless.  Remember the poor. "JESUS came to seek and to save those who are lost."  I want to do that, too.

Our family has many health problems.  We are trying nutritional eating, supplements, essential oils, and medications.  It is discouraging when we are still sick.  But it has made us develop empathy and sympathy for people. 

Please pray for us.  But more than that, please pray for others.  Please look for ways you can help those who are not doing as well as you are. Please show them there is LIFE.  HE is the BEST GIFT you can give. 

Love, Joseph, Amy, Michael, and Jonathan Torrans

Missionaries to the sick, sad, and suffering

Merry CHRISTmas 

If - You Need Prayer Or Financial Help

wHat is lovE  mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

What Is Love Missions? HE IS LOVE. GOD is love. We want you to know HIM.  We want HIM to help you.

If you need prayer, please contact us.  If you need financial help, please contact us.  If you need a book, e book, or article to help you know GOD, please contact us. 

If you know someone who needs any of these things, please contact us.

If you can help by praying for our ministry or giving to our ministry, please contact us.

We want to know you.  GOD wants to know you.  HE loves you. And if you want to know what love is, get to know GOD.  HE is it :) 

Love your friends, Joe, Amy, Michael and Jonathan Torrans

Missionaries to the world, where we live, where we love

If you want any of the following, please email whatislovemissions@gmail.com or call 719-571-0457:

Prayer

Financial Help

Book

E Book

Article

Giving

Tax Deductible Receipt 

Speaker

Guitar Player

Singer 

Help

whatislovemissions@gmail.com

719-571-0457

Fiction - The Harvest Of Hanover

The Harvest Of Hanover

Fiction By Amy Christina Torrans 

Mama says it's red gold, like leaves when they are turning. To me, it's just hair, one braid on each side of my head.  Daddy says I can cut it when I am thirty, but that's a long time, cuz I'm only seven and a half years old right now.  But Daddy is teasing. He gets that funny smile on his face right before he winks.

We live on our own farm, on Hanover Road, in a town in Colorado.  Daddy grows apple trees, and sells the apples to people when they are ready to be picked in the Fall. I mean when the apples are ready to be picked. At school, I am starting to learn how to talk and write right. Oh, yeah, correctly. 

 "Hallie!" Mama is calling. "Time for supper." Daddy says he let Mama name me Hallie so it would rhyme with our last name O'Mally.  Mama just rolls her eyes and smiles at Daddy. 

"Did you see that old man picking Golden Delicious?" I ask Daddy as I take a bite of green beans. He looks alarmed.  "Marnie, did you notice anyone come in who did not buy anything?" 

"Oh, Randy, I just saw you helping Mrs. Jenkins." Mama sounds worried.

"Hey, now, I'm sure it's nothin' to be worked up about." Daddy glances at me and Mama. "Ya get it? Hay, now?" He pats Mama's blond hair and she nods slowly. Just the same, he heads out to the orchard, calling our hound Henry.

The next day around four o clock I see him again. That man who I think might be a hundred. He is skinny, with dirty clothes, and a sad, confused look on his face.  This time, Daddy sees him, too."Can I help you, Mister?"  

But the man stares off at nothing in the distance. Mama looks shocked when Daddy brings the man in for supper.  She looks even more surprised when the man eats and drinks like he has never had anything good before.  

"Can you tell me your name or any family?" Daddy asks quietly. But the man just chomps, seeming disturbed. Daddy gets out his laptop and I see the words "homeless" and "missing" that he types on the screen. "Nothing comes up." He tells Mama.  "He can just stay in the guest room tonight." 

"Baby, do you think that is wise?" Mama whispers.  

"I'll sleep on the couch. Henry is a good guard dog. Hallie can be in bed with you."

Daddy smiles at the man who only stands there, wringing his hands.  "Sir, I just want you to know that we care about you. And GOD loves you even more.  You might not understand this, but HIS SON JESUS died for you. HE wants you to go to Heaven someday. But until then, we are going to make sure you stay warm and fed, and get you somewhere that can help." 

Mama's phone says 2:53 a.m. when I look at it while she is sleeping.  I know I am not supposed to, but I get out of bed and tiptoe out the back door.  The guest room door is open, and the man is gone.

"Hallie, you come back here." Daddy scoops me up in his big arms.  "You scared us to death." Mama scolds, shivering in the cold.  Daddy gets in his truck to go look for the man. He comes back later with a discouraged look on his face. "No." He answers Mama's question on hers.

A few days later, Daddy brings the newspaper in, grinning. "Look at this article." He tells Mama. She reads it out loud. "Unknown elderly man found deceased after a heart attack.  The strange thing?  He had a peaceful smile on his face. And instead of a beer bottle in his hands, there was an apple."

For more stories, encouragement, and prayer, please email whatislovemissions@gmail.com