To My Girls

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart and your 
neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

To My Daughters, who I miscarried early in pregnancy: I miss you and I love you! I wish you were here. But I know you are in Heaven. I will see you someday. 

To My Girls - my future daughters, adopted daughters, nieces, friends' daughters, sisters, moms, aunts, friends, little girls, young ladies, women, and You: I am proud of you and I love you! I wish you knew how much you mean to me. Believe in yourself and the GOD who made you. I will be here for you always. 

My heart wants you to know: 

1. You are more than enough. No, you are not just "enough". You are more. Psalm 139 says you are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Wow. You are amazing. 

 2. GOD is more than enough. No, GOD is not just "there." HE is HERE. Ephesians 3 says, GOD can "do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think." Wow. HE is YOUR GOD. 

3. We are more than enough. No, we are not alone. We are together. Galations 6 says, "Bear one another's burdens." Wow. We are sisters in CHRIST.

My heart wants you to know the HEART of JESUS.

Girls, you are daughters of the KING. You are Princesses. Queens. Warriors. Heroes. Leaders.

Girls, you are beautiful. You have a soul like no one else. Personality. Kindness. Pretty eyes. Gorgeous smile.

Please enjoy life. It is a gift. Treasure your people and your pets. Laugh, cry, learn, grow. Live in HIS LOVE.

Please remember I am here for you. As a friend, sister, prayer partner, coffee mate, lunch buddy, mom, mentor, counselor, and listener. Message me any time. I am thankful for you, Girl. 

Yours forever,

Missionaries to women,

Amy, AnnaClaar, Christina, Rosalyn, Victoria, and Claaralise Annette

When It Feels Like GOD Has Betrayed You

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE 
GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

When you accept CHRIST as your SAVIOR. When you try to follow the Bible. When you live your life for others. 

It is when you beg and loved ones die anyway.  It is when GOD sometimes seems mad and distant. It is when other CHRISTians turn their backs on you. 

Feels like a spoon stabs you in the heart.  Feels worse than a knife because you did not expect it. Feels like your faith is taken away in one fell scoop

Like a shock. Like you are dying. Like you are numb.

"GOD, MY GOD. Why have YOU forsaken ME?" GOD'S SON JESUS said this in Matthew 27, verses 1 through 66. GOD, on the cross. 

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever known lasting loneliness? Have you ever been totally terrified? 

Betrayed by a trusted adult. Betrayed by a spouse. Betrayed by a friend.

You are not alone. You are not what you feel. You are loved, safe, and cared about.

 If you think it is over, remember this is not the end. If you can, keep praying and reading the New Testament.  If you need help, ask a kind pastor's wife or counselor.

I understand. I have been there. I am still here.

Please message, email, text, or call 719-571-0457 if you want to talk or pray. Please call 1-800-273-8255 if you are thinking about suicide. Please know I am praying for you and I love you.

There is still joy in this world.  There has to be a GOOD GOD. There are many people who do care. 

Maybe you have just been cut with the sharp edge of a spoon. Maybe you are like a toddler, screaming in pain. Maybe JESUS is a perfect FATHER, holding you close to HIS HEART.  

Missionaries to the sick, because I am healing, too.

Your friend and sister, Amy and daughters.

I Am A Girl Mom

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet 

I have not told many people this. It hurts too much. In July of 2014,I miscarried a beautiful baby girl. It was early in the pregnancy. We named her AnnaClaar Jane. 

 And January of 2015,the same thing happened. A daughter. Also at the beginning of being pregnant. Her name is Christina Amyleah.

 As hard as is it to admit, Victoria Angeleia and Rosalyn Mercy went to Heaven,August 2016 and April 2017. Always in my heart. And on my mind.

   Girls are a part of me. Girly is my DNA. GOD gave me daughters and sons. Gladly,I raise my beautiful boys to love,honor,and respect women.

Maybe I will miss my gorgeous girls forever. Miss the chance to grow up with daughters. Miss the mini me. Miss seeing what they act and look like. Miss having a best friend.

But I will keep trying to be a calm,caring,kind,kooky mama,most of the time. I am not a tom boy mommy. Dresses,skirts,elegant hair styles,boots,yoga pants,and pink are my jam. However,I do enjoy hugs,tickles,kisses,cuddles,

reading,swinging,and slides. And I will bring up each of my sons'sweet,stubborn,silly,strong personalities.    

Have you had a darling daughter,special son,or blessed baby pass away? We feel your pain. Or are you not able to have a child? I am so sorry. Did adoption or foster care fall through,like it did for us? 

Please feel free to tell me your story,so I can pray for you. You can email,message,call,or text 719-571-0457,if you ever need to talk. I am also here for single mothers,your miracle 

babies,and little 

children in other countries. Please be praying for me as I grieve for my girls. We all need each other. 

Love,Amy,Annie,Christie,Torrie,and Rosie Torrans

Missionaries to the broken hearted.

Because my spirit is broken,too.      

The Listener

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart,

and your neighbor as yourself."

 "You need to start a mom's group as soon as possible, so you have more support!" The counselor's confident voice shocked me.  I had just been in the PICU and the Children's Hospital for three weeks.  My beautiful baby boy almost passed away.  How could I "do" more at a time like this?

You know, I appreciate where the perky therapist was coming from. The intention was "get up and go." But I had already gotten up and gone somewhere inside my head. My heart was broken. How could I take care of a seven month old who could die at any moment?

You understand. The ache of my soul was for someone to listen. I needed to find words, speak, cry, and try to explain the despair I felt. My spirit shouted and whispered to be heard.  How could I just nod, smile, blink, and pretend I had energy to do everything the nice lady demanded?

"You can tell me anything." The kind voice of my friend made me relax. I shared my fears, my failures, my wishes, and my weeping.  My sister in CHRIST responded in sympathy and empathy.  How freeing it felt to be myself.

You, dear reader, are special. The pain, purpose, suffering, and silence you experience matter. I want you to know, I care. My "door is always open" to welcome you. How can I listen to you, right now?

You may call or text me at 719-571-0457. The comment section below is also for prayer requests. I can be reached by email whatislovemissions@gmail.com and by messages. My ears will hear, and my heart will see. How I shall pray for GOD to help you.

You can also talk to JESUS, Beloved. The desperation you know, HE knows, too. "I do not think HE loves me", you might say. My emotions falsely go there sometimes, also. But oh, how HE truly longs to listen.

Missionaries to the scared, sad, and scarred, Joey, Amy, Mikey, Jonny, and A.J.

Because we are, too.

If you need me, I will be a Listener.

I Need A Superhero

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

    and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

I am a mess. Man, I need chocolate. And a person to make everything better. Someone super.

In January, my life changed forever. Our little man, age six months, had a fever of 105°.  And he was rushed to the ICU. So after two weeks, he was transported to the Children's Hospital.

I am told he has Chronic Granulomatous Disease, a rare, life threatening disease. Oh, man. And tumors in his liver, kidneys, and head. Super sad.

Do you ever feel like your life is messy? Grab some chocolate ice cream. Let me be a person who helps a little. Say these things to yourself when you are super stressed:

1. I Have A Superhero Friend

One or more people to step into your mess. Meet your needs. Make a few things better. I am super thankful for my friends and family.

2. I Am A Superhero

Your mess will someday be your message. You need to know that you are amazing. You're a stronger person than you think. You are someone I would like to know.

3.  I Have A Superhero GOD

HE cleans up messes. HIS SON JESUS became a man and died for you. HE will make everything better, one day. In HIS arms, I know that SOMEONE loves me.

Please feel free to share your super problems. I believe in super prayer.

Children's Coloring Contest

wHat is lovE mISsions 

"LOVE GOD with all your heart

and your neighbor as yourself."

Hey Boys and Girls!  This is a contest where you can win a prize. Here is all you have to do:

1.  Ask your parents to help you print or copy the following picture.

2.  Color with crayons, pencils, markers, or digitally on a computer or phone.

3.  You can also include a Bible verse  about children, helping people, or being happy, if you want. 

4. Please send it to whatislovemissions@gmail.com

5.  Have fun :) If you have any other questions, you can email, call, or text What Is Love Missions at 719-571-0457.

When We Want

wHat is lovE mISsions

"LOVE GOD with all your heart,

and your neighbor as yourself."

The Torrans Tablet

"I love you, Mommy." She has blond hair like honey. Blue eyes like a butterfly.  And a smile like a porcelain doll. In my dreams, she gives me a hug. 

But now I am awake. I remember finding out I am pregnant. Being sure it is a girl. But at three months, the contractions come.  And the bleeding.

I miscarry one baby.  But I am thankful that the second fraternal twin lives. Our son is a beautiful blessing. I never feel like I want a girl instead. I just wish my daughter could be in my arms, too. 

Wishing, wanting, and praying are good things. They make us depend on GOD.  Because we are desperate.  Because we need HIM. Because the ache will not go away.

This is what happens when we want:

 1.  We Care

Oh, how we care for the people in our lives. Our husband, our children, our parents, our family, our friends. We love them. We do not want them to leave. But sometimes they have to.

2.  We Cry

When they are gone from our worlds, we grieve. We feel we can not go on. It is almost as if we never had them. But it is both hurtful and healing, because we did. Or did we, we ask ourselves.    

  3.  We Can 

But we can keep wanting and living at the same time. The desire might never go away. Our FATHER can give us another spouse, child, or friend. Though they will never replace the one we lost. Or HE can help us know that we can make it. 

I still wish for another daughter someday. GOD might give me a girl. Or HE may give me an adopted daughter, a daughter-in-law, or a  granddaughter. We might not get our prayers answered when we want. But it may be when we need.

Please share your prayer requests. And I will pray the LORD gives you the desires of your heart.

Love, Joey, Amy, Mikey, Jonny, A.J., and Annie Torrans

Missionaries to people who need prayer.

We all do.